Best Brisket Ever

O Hanukkah, the festival of meat. Tonight we celebrated in an exceptional way - all gathered around the Hanukkah tree eating brisket and latkes, fire roaring, children opening presents. It was like a Rockwellberg painting. My brisket came out exceptional and I was totally winging it. Here's what I did:

Ingredients:

1 3-4 lb brisket

liberal amounts of salt and pepper

2 onions, sliced

3 carrots, peeled and cut into big chunks

3 parsnips peeled and cut into chunks

2 cloves of garlic

3 sprigs of fresh thyme

1 cup of red wine

3 cups of chicken stock

1 small can of tomato paste

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350. Salt and pepper both sides of the brisket big time. Meat loves salt. In a dutch oven or cast iron pot, heat a good amount of olive oil and brown the brisket starting fat side down. Brown both sides, for about 3-4 minutes per side to seal in the juicy juices. Transfer to a plate. Keep the fat going and saute the onions. When onions are cooked, deglaze the pan with the wine and cook for a minute, scraping the bottom of the pan for the yummy bits. Add chicken stock, garlic (whole cloves), thyme, tomato paste and cook for a minute or two until everything is combined. Add back in the brisket. The brisket should be almost submerged in liquid. If it's not, add more chicken stock. Plop the lid on the pot and put it in the oven for 1.5 hours at 350. Then, add the carrots and parsnips and cook for another 1.5 hours at 250. Total cooking time 3 hours. Let the brisket sit in the pot to rest for a while. When you are ready to eat, slice up and serve with lots of the gravy on top. Use potato latkes to sop up the juices. Plenty of red wine down the gullet too. Heaven. Mazel. Tov.

Salmon Nori Rolls with Nut "Rice" and Carrot Ginger Dipping Sauce

Ok, so Thanksgiving was amazingly fun. 25 relatives, 3 days of cooking, and 3567 lbs of butter later, I'm a fat ass again. So, this week I started a bit of a food cleanse. I'm following this crazy crackpot Dr. Junger's "Elmination Diet" which means I'm not eating wheat, dairy, sugar, coffee. Good times. Actually, I'm feeling fantastic but it takes a lot of planning to get something decent to eat. Here was today's yummy lunch!

Ingredients:

1 cup soaked sunflower seeds

1 cup walnuts, soaked in pure water for 2 hours

1/4 red onion, chopped

1 clove garlic

1 packet of nori wraps

1/2 avocado, sliced thin

1 scallion sliced lengthwise

1 6 oz wild salmon fillet - pan seared

1 large carrot, peeled and chopped

1 shallot peeled and chopped

2 T fresh grated ginger

1 T white miso

2 T rice wine vinegar

1 T sesame seed oil

1/4 cup grapeseed oil

2 T water

Procedure:

To make the nut "rice" for the nori rolls - put soaked nuts, onion, and garlic into a food processor and grind until the mixture is almost a nutty paste. Take your nori wraps and schmeer 1/4 of the nut "rice" on top. Layer on your seared salmon, sliced avocado, and sliced scallion. You can add anything you like really...finely chopped carrot, sprouts, whatevz. Roll up the nori wrap and cut into pieces. Using a sharp knife helps. On to the dipping sauce.....put the carrot, shallot, and ginger into the food processor and blend. Add the miso, vinegar, and sesame seed oil. Blend. Finally drizzle in the grapeseed oil and water. Take nori roll and dip into dressing. YUM.

PS: While the nut "rice" had a great consistency and was quite tasty, you can easily substitute brown rice which is easier to make and almost as healthy.

Spinach, Quinoa, Roasted Tomatoes, and Feta Salad

Shout out to my friend Jodi who opened my eyes to Qunioa in a salad. Quinoa is a fantastically healthy whole grain that adds depth and tooth to any salad.

Ingredients:

• 2 cups cherry tomatoes - tossed with olive oil and salt and roasted for 20 minutes at 450 degrees.


• 4 cups of baby spinach leaves


• 1/4 cup feta cheese


• 1 cup of cooked quinoa

Dressing:

• 1 T balsamic vinegar


• 1 teaspoon dijon mustard


• 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic (or 1 clove)


• 4 T olive oil

Preparation:

Follow directions on quinoa package and make it. Should only take about 20 mins. While quinoa is cooking, arrange spinach leaves, roasted tomatoes, and feta on a plate. Spoon on cooked quinoa (as much as you want). Drizzle with dressing.

Creamy and Low-Fat Chicken and Corn Chowder

Me loves me some creamy soups. Love em. Especially on a cold night. Nothing is more satisfying than a steaming bowl of chunky chowder with a big hunk of crusty bread to mop it up with. Problem is, chowder goes right to my ass. I might as well just paint the chowder right on my backside and leave it there. Turns out that chowder does not have to be all that bad for you. Here is a quick recipe that is so easy, low fat, and very satisfying.

Ingredients:

• 1 already cooked rotisery chicken from the market


• 1 bag of frozen corn (not creamed just plain sweet corn)


• 2 12 oz cans evaporated fat free milk


• olive oil


• 1 large celery stalk, diced small


• 1 large carrot, diced small


• 1 yellow onion, diced small


• 2 cloves of garlic, minced


• 2 sprigs of fresh thyme


• Chopped fresh chives (for garnish)


• salt and pepper

Preparation:

In a stockpot, heat olive oil and saute onion, celery, and carrot until tender, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and saute for another minute. Meanwhile, take the breast meat off the chicken and dice up into small cubes. Do not use the skin, just the white meat. Back to the pot...when your veggies are done sauteing, dump in bag of corn, the evaporated milk, and the sprigs of thyme. Stir. Bring the soup to a mild boil and when the bubbles start to form, give it another stir, put the lid on, and gently simmer for about 20 minutes. Stir occasionally. After the 15th minute of cooking, add the diced chicken. Season with lots of kosher salt and some cracked pepper. Cook for the last 5 minutes. Bowl up and garnish with chopped chives. Enjoy with crusty bread and a big glass of wine - any will do.

Mmmmmmmeatballs

A wicked good first...not including a picture with the recipe. Here's why....meatballs are not attractive. They're just not. They are blobs of brown meat with sauce on them. While wholly unattractive, they are super yummy to eat. Especially on a cold Sunday night with friends. This recipe feeds a crowd of 8 with the meatballs being the main event.

Ingredients:

• 1 lb ground pork


• 1 lb ground veal


• 1 lb ground beef


• 1 cup grated parmesan


• 1/2 cup parsley, minced


• 1/2 large white onion, finely minced


• 1 tablespoon of garlic paste


• 2 eggs


• 1 1/2 cups whole wheat bread crumbs


• 2/3 cup skim milk


• 2 tablespoons kosher salt


• 4 cups of your favorite marinara sauce. I use Il Mulino or Raos

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, crack both eggs. Add the garlic paste and with a whisk, mix both until the garlic paste is incorporated into the eggs. Add the milk and the bread crumbs and let the bread crumbs soak for a few minutes. Meanwhile, mince your onions and parsley. Add both to the bread crumb mixture. Add Parmesan cheese, salt, and finally the meat. With your hands, mix everything until it all comes together. Make sure the meat is really mixed well with the other ingredients BUT don't overmix. It's a fine line between a moist and a tough ball. Roll the balls into whatever size you like. Mine are larger than a golf ball but not as big as a whiffleball. Probably like 2 inches wide. Pour the sauce into a dutch oven or large cast pot and start layering the balls in. You will have 2 layers of balls probably. It's ok if the sauce doesn't cover all of the meatballs. Place the lid on the pot and cook in the oven for 75 minutes.

Fig, Gorgonzola, Carmelized Onion Tart

Totally ripped this recipe off from my favorite weekly read, the New York Times Dining In section. Wednesdays are my fave days b/c of this section. Lerv it. I tweaked the recipe slightly and used ready made frozen pastry dough. But yah, basically I ripped the whole thing off. But yum....so easy and great for a party.

Ingredients:

• 2 large white onions halved lengthwise and thinly sliced


• 1 sprig rosemary finely minced


• Pinch sugar


• 1 teaspoon sherry vinegar


• 1/4 cup milk


• 1 egg


• 4 sheets of ready made puff pastry


• 1 pint fresh figs ( 3/4 pound), stemmed and slided lengthwise


• 1 1/2 ounces Stinky Cheese (Stilton, gorgonzola, or roquefort) crumbled


• 2 tablespoons pine nuts


• good-quality honey for drizzling, optional. section. It's my bible. Lerv it. I tweaked it a bit but mostly I just ripped it right off. This could not have been easier with the help of ready made frozen pastry dough.

Preparation:

1. In a large skillet over low heat, melt butter with oil. Add onions, rosemary and sugar. Cook, tossing occasionally, until onions are limp and golden brown, 30 to 40 minutes. Stir in the vinegar, scraping any browned bits from bottom of pan.

2. In a small bowl, whisk together the milk and egg until smooth. Stir in the onions. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line an 11 by 17-inch baking sheet with parchment paper. On a lightly floured surface, line up sheets of pasty dough so they cover the whole pan. Press the edges of the dough together so it looks like one big sheet.

3. Use a fork to spread onion mixture evenly over pastry (let excess egg mixture drip back into bowl), leaving a 1-inch border. Arrange figs in even rows on onion mixture. Scatter cheese and pine nuts over figs. Use a pastry brush to dab edges of tart with egg mixture. Gently fold over edges of tart to form a lip and brush with more egg mixture.

4. Bake until pastry is puffed and golden, 25 to 30 minutes. Serve drizzled with honey, if desired, warm or at room temperature.

Yield: 8 servings.

Frozen Monkey Bars

UuuuAaaaa! These frozen treats will make you want to scratch yourself for joy. 5 minutes to make, healthy, and on a stick. What could be bad? I use mostly dark chocolate because it's better for you and I loves me some dark chocolate. But you can use whatever kind of chocolate you like. Except white chocolate because white chocolate is gross. You can also get crazy with toppings. I went for straight up walnuts but you can use toffy, almonds, sprinkles, whatevz.

Frozen Monkey Bars - makes 8

Ingredients:

• 4 large bananas


• 1 cup dark chocolate bits


• 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate bits


• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)


• 8 popsicle sticks

Preparation:

1. Peel bananas and cut in half crosswise.

2. Insert the popsicle stick into the flat part of the

banana and shove up there about 3/4 the way to the top

3. In a microwave safe bowl, melt the chocolate together.

Takes about 1 min, 30 seconds to melt. Stir chocolate

4. Line a baking sheet with wax paper

5. Dunk banana pops in chocolate and coat all the way

around. A spatula helps spread the chocolate evenly.

6. Sprinkle with walnuts or toppings

7. Freeze for about 2 hours until the chocolate is hard

8. Eat and Enjoy

9. Wrap leftovers in wax paper and then in ziploc bag.

Store in freezer.

Rosh Hashana Morning Glory Muffins

I have said in the past that I am not a great baker. I like to improvise too much and as we all know, you can't improvise in baking because it's really a science where each ingredient effects the other in the oven. So, after many failed attempts at making baking a free form extravaganza, I decided to follow the directions for once. I have adapted a classic recipe for Morning Glory Muffins and added my own healthful twist on it: whole wheat, fresh carrot, fresh apple, honey, and dates. They came out moist, sweet, and delicious. My kids were fighting over them. L'Shanah Tovah, bitches!

Morning Glory Muffins - makes 18 large muffins

Ingredients:

• 2 cups whole wheat flour


• 2 cups raw grated carrot (about 3 peeled carrots)


• 1 large apple - peeled and grated


• 1/4 cup brown sugar


• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda


• 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder


• 1/2 teaspoon salt


• 1 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon


• 1 cup coconut


• 1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract


• 3 large eggs


• 3/4 cup canola oil


• 1 + 1/4 cups honey


• 1/2 cup chopped dates


• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Preparation:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.


2. Using a grater or your food processor, finely grate the carrots and apple and put them aside.


3. Chop dates and add to apple and carrot mixture.


4. Chop walnuts and add to carrot and apples and coconut.


5. In a large bowl, whisk together the wet ingredients: eggs, vanilla, honey, oil, and brown sugar.


6. In another large bowl, mix together dry ingredients: flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon.


7. Fold the wet ingredients along with the carrot/apple mixture into the dry ingredients. Do not over mix or the batter will become tough. I found the easiest way to mix everything was by hand.


8. Spray your muffin tins with Pam or line them with baking cups.


9. Fill the cups 2/3 way full. Bake for 20-22 minutes or until a toothpick comes out dry.

Daily Recipe: Whole Wheat Fish n' Chips

I heart fish n'chips. Crunchy, oily fish doused with lemon and tartar sauce makes me feel so tingly all over. The thing is, when you go to a typical Cape Cod restaurant for fish n' chips, it's some "mystery" fish battered to death and then fried in lard of some sort. Not really that healthy and it leaves you feeling like crud. It turns out, making at-home FnChips is super easy, y'all. Here's how you do it:

Ingredients:

• Any white flaky fish you like. (I used flounder cut crosswise into 1 inch strips. A thicker fish might work even better but my kids liked the thin kind)


• whole wheat bread crumbs


• whole wheat flower


• canola oil


• 2 eggs, beaten


• salt

Preparation:

Set up an assembly line just like you were making a veal parm or fried cutlet of any kind:

• Dish 1. Your fish cut into 1 inch strips


• Dish 2. 1 cup of whole wheat flower


• Dish 3. 2 beaten eggs


• Dish 4. 1 cup of whole wheat bread crumbs

OK, first take your fishy strips and coat both sides with the whole wheat flour. Then dredge in the beaten egg. Finally, coat with the whole wheat bread crumbs. Refrigerate the breaded fish for at least 30 minutes to get everything to bind which I think helped keep it all together when I went to fry it up. Now, take a frying pan and add about 1/4 inch of canola oil. Get the oil nice n' hot. Add your fishy sticks making sure not to crowd the pan. As Julia Child once said, "A crowded pan is a cold pan, girlfriend." You know your oil is hot enough when your fish starts to fry up nicely at first impact. Fry the fish for 1 minute per side. Transfer to a paper towel to drain off excess oil. Sprinkle immediately with salt. Serve with your favorite tartar sauce and a side of french fries. I must admit, I did not make the fries. Mr. Orieda took care of that for me. Don't judge....at least the fish was homemade!

Daily Recipe: Mitch's Wings

My husband makes good wings. They are at once crispy and spicy on the outside and juicy on the inside. A bit of a production but who am I to judge. If you are into making wings, here is a great techniquie. It involves steaming the wings first and then grilling them. The result is worth the labor. As you will read, this is not my recipe but a series of baseball metaphores and jibberish. If you can make sense of this and like wings, then godspeed my child. In any case, they are worth it on game day.

Mitch's Buffalo Wings

Ingredients:

• chicken wings


• buffalo sauce - can be bought in any store


• blue cheese dressing


• salt/pepper

Pregame:

spread wings. really. on cutting board. find your largest knife. push it through ligament connecting wing and wingette. discard wingette. don't forget to practice safe poultry. by safe I mean sanitary. assemble wingettes and drummettes piled about yay high in abu ghraib style pyramid on a steamer tray in a steamer pot (like the one you steam veggies in). Steam in pot for 10 minutes. Refrigerate the wings on a tray between paper towels for one hour. If you want to season them do so while refrigerating. you forgot to practice safe poultry, didn't you.

Gametime:

grill on low flame until skin is crispy on each side. if your grill is wieldy you may be able to brush a light coat of olive oil on there to enhance crispiness. if your grill is unwieldy the wings may catch fire, which would suck ass.

Postgame:

Throw grilled wings in a bowl with buffalo sauce and toss them around until they are shiny and red, like Jason Giambi's jumbotron photo circa 2004. Serve with bleu chee dressing and celery. Why? Celery is nature's answer to rolaids.

Daily Recipe: Semi-Healthy Chocolate Chip Cookies (Agave Sweetened andWhole Wheat)

I'm admittedly not the best baker. They say cooking is an art and baking is a science. Well I fancy myself a semi-competent artiste but a shit scientist. Anyhoo, I do bake a decent chocolate chip cookie and have been looking for ways to cut down on the evil white sugar and flour scene. I did a little research and developed this recipe for whole wheat, agave-sweetened chocolate chip cookies. And you know what, they aren't half bad! While they aren't low-cal (I assume they are the same calories as a regular cookie), they are nutritious with the whole wheat and no sugar and all. Word of caution: don't go and eat 5 of these in one sitting like I did. I have a stomach ache.

Semi-Healthy Chocolate Chip Cookies - makes 3 dozen

Ingredients:

• 1 and 1/2 Cups Agave Nectar 


• 3 Cups Whole Wheat Flour


• 1/2 Cup Butter (1 stick) melted


• 2 Eggs


• 1 tsp. Vanilla Extract


• 1/4 tsp. Salt


• 1 tsp. Baking Soda


• 1 tsp. Baking Powder 


• 1 12 oz pkg. semi-sweet Chocolate Chips


• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Preparation:

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Dump your eggs, agave, and melted butter, and vanilla in a large mixing bowl and beat with a hand mixer until everything is well incorporated. In a separate bowl, combine your dry ingredients: flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda. Slowly add your dry ingredients into your wet ingredients and stir with a wooden spoon until your cookie batter is formed. Add the chocolate chips and walnuts and mix well. Drop tablespoon sized balls onto an ungreased non-stick baking sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes. Devour while still warm.

Daily Recipe: Euro Haddock

Why Euro Haddock you ask? Because the Euros seem to know just how to do fish. That is, select the freshest, most local fish, and do basically nothing to it. Let the fish stand on its own merit. Living in Cape Cod allows me to luxuriate in Euro fish all summer long. Just down the street is a fish market called The Clam Man and he gets the freshest fish, right off the boat. Today, I was bargain hunting and decided on some haddock. Haddock is a medium bodied, white flakyfish best done in an oven or on a skillet. You can do this recipe with many types of fish - sole, flounder, bass....really any of the flaky white fishes. Pair it with a dry, very cold white wine and you are in fishy heaven.

Euro Haddock

 

Ingredients:

• Any white flaky fish you like, skin off, fillets only


• whole wheat flour


• good olive oil


• parsley, finely minced


• fresh lemon juice


• kosher salt

Preparation:

Dredge fish fillets on both sides with whole wheat flour. Heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a skillet on high heat. When the oil is good and hot, add the fish fillets. Don't crowd your pan and don't walk away, girlfriend. Fry on one side for about 2 minutes max, then flip. You only need to cook each side for about 2 minutes. Don't overcook! Transfer the fillets to a platter, drizzle with good olive oil, squeeze lemon over it, sprinkle parsley and kosher salt on top. So simple. So Euro.

 

Daily Recipe: Pinkberry Ripoff - Blueberry Frozen Yogurt

Any Pinkberry addicts out there? I confess I am one. I will go way out of my way to get a Pinkberry in the city. It’s usually a big pain in the ass but well worth the treat. Now that I’m living in the boonies for the summer, there is no Pinkberry in sight. Tragic! Well, it turns out Pinkberry is a total racket and you can make the stuff at home in like 2 seconds. What I love about Pinkberry is the combination of tart and sweet yogurt combined with fresh fruit and nuts. If you groove on this too, try making this at-home version using non-fat Greek yogurt and frozen berries. You can use any berries you like just make sure to use frozen as they process easier than freshies. People, sometimes I love myself. Oh yah, and the internet where I learned you can do this. Here’s the recipe:

Blueberry Frozen Yogurt

• 1 17.6 oz tub of Fage 0% yogurt


• 12 oz. of frozen blueberries


• 2 small packets of Sweet Leaf sweetener (optional) or Agave nectar to taste


• 1/2 cup of slivered almonds (optional)

Preparation:

1. Place the blueberries in your blender and blend on the “ice chop” funtion.  Basically you want to copy the berries but you don’t want to puree them.  You want the fruit to be a little chunky.


2. Dump the yogurt into a bowl.


3. Add the chopped berries.


4. Stir in your sweetener and almonds.  You can play with the sweetener according to taste. Same with the nuts.


5. When everything is well combined and all blue looking, transfer the yogurt into an airtight tupperware bowl.


6. Deposit into your freezer for about 30 minutes – and voila….frozen yogurt Pinkberry style! I would not freeze for more than 30 minutes or it will get rock hard. Kids will even eat this stuff. It’s yummy.

Daily Recipe: Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Thingys

Get ready to have a mind-blowing jalapenobacongasm, people. This one will knock your socks off. First off, I have to give full credit for this recipe to a fabulous blogger called The Pioneer Woman. I think she invented these. Regardless, this recipe calls for three ingredients, are simple to make, and pack a flavor wallop that will bring you to your knees. Best of all, these can be prepared ahead of time and cooked just before your party. TPW (The Pioneer Woman) says they can even be frozen raw and then cooked later. I found it very helpful to look at TPW's website for a play by play on how to easily prepare these. I suggest you do the same. I heart you, TPW. Will you be my goomah?

Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Thingys

Ingredients:

• Bacon


• Jalapeno Peppers


• Chive Cream Cheese (or plain is fine but why not chive it up)

Preparation:

Slice the jalapeno peppers down the middle, lengthwise. With a small spoon,  remove all of the white membrane and seeds. This is where all of the heat is.  If you like it HOT, then save some of the white stuff but I like mine mild, so I removed  it all. Once that is done, schmere a liberal amount of cream cheese in the center of the pepper half. Finally, cut up your bacon so each slice is cut in thirds. Take a piece of bacon and wrap it around the pepper. Secure with a tooth pick. I made a little assembly line and first did all of the  deseeding, then did all of the cream cheese, then wrapped the bacon. It was mindless and oddly therapeutic. Yet I digress.....Now, you can either toss them in the fridge if you are  serving them the same day or you can put them in a ziploc bag and freeze them. When you are ready to cook them, preheat oven to 375 degrees. Arrange the peppers on a wire try on a sheet pan or roasting pan. It's important that they be on a rack so the  bacon grease can drip off. Bake for 25-28 minutes depending on how crisp you like your bacon.

I like mine crispy, dude. Now, eat, savor.....jalapenobacongasm.

Daily Recipe: Southwestern Seared Tuna Salad

Feel like upping your mercury level today? Tap into your inner Jeremy Piven and indulge in a healthful dinner option with our Southwestern Seared Tuna Salad. It's easy to prepare and a filling option for those who are trying to watch their carbs at the dinner table.

Dear Carbs, You sit on my hips and make me look fat in my bikini. Therefore, I hate you. F-U Carbs!! Love, WickedGoodFood

Southwestern Seared Tuna Salad - serves two for dinner

Ingredients:

• 1 lb of fresh tuna steak


• Chef Paul Prudhomme's Poultry Magic Seasoning - at every market in the spice section.


• 1/2 cup garbanzo beans


• 1 cup canned corn


• 1/2 red pepper, diced


• 1/2 yellow pepper diced


• 1 cup cherry tomatoes, cut in half


• 1 avocado, diced


• 1/2 cup red onion, diced


• your favorite lettuce. I use romaine or baby greens

Dressing:

• 1/4 cup fresh lime juice


• 1 tablespoon mayo. I use Kraft Olive Oil mayo (1/2 the fat as regular mayo)


• 1 tablespoon sour cream


• 1/4 cup olive oil


• 3 tablespoons chopped cilantro


• 1 teaspoon finely minced jalapeno


• 1 clove garlic, finely minced


• 1/2 teaspoon chili powder


• 1/2 teaspoon cumin

Preparation:

First, do the dressing. In an airtight tupperware bowl, mix in all of the ingredients, close the lid, and shakey, shakey, shakey until everything is mixed well. Taste and add salt and pepper if you like. Now, get the salad ready. Dump your washed greens into a salad bowl. Top with diced peppers, corn, beans, tomatoes, onion, and avocado. Finally, it's time to sear the tuna. Season the tuna steaks on both sides with the Poultry Magic seasoning. Heat a skillet on high heat with a little bit of olive oil in the pan. When the pan is hot, add the tuna steaks. Sear on one side for 2 minutes and then flip. Sear the other side for 2 minutes. This should yield a tuna that is cooked medium. If you like it more well done, cook for longer. You can't really screw it up. When your tuna is done to your liking, transfer it to a cutting board. Slice the tuna in strips and present artfully on top of your salad. Drizzle with the dressing and yeee haw....Southwestern Salad!

Fathers Day Hit: Grilled Pizza

OK, I'm starting to sense a theme here. Relatively healthy-eating girl goes completely off the wagon on the weekends and falls deep into the "gluttonous fat-ass" abyss. I'd like to share with my two readers the recipe for gluttony, which can be had with a little prep work and a grill. You can put any toppings you like on the pizza. Here is the one that was the biggest hit on Father's Day.

Grilled Whole Wheat Pizza with Caramelized Onions, Sausage, Roasted Tomatoes, and Fontina Cheese

Ingredients:

• 1 cup cherry tomatoes


• 1 large vidalia or sweet onion


• 1 tablespoon brown sugar


• 1 tablespoon butter


• 2 fresh sausage links, casing removed


• 1 blob of pizza dough. I get Whole Foods whole wheat ready made dough in the freezer section. Works perfectly. You can also get dough at your local pizzeria. Or you can make it.


• 1 cup of grated fontina cheese


• 1 cup of fresh mozzarella cheese, sliced thin (not the shredded crap)

Preparation:

Up to a day in advance, prep your toppings. I did mine the day before and it made the pizza making process more fun and super easy. So, the day before, preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Toss the cherry tomatoes in some olive oil, salt, and pepper, and roast them on a sheet pan for 15 minutes. Transfer to a glass bowl or tupperware, cover, and refrigerate. Now, cut the vidalia onion in thin rings and toss them with olive oil. Spread on a sheet pan and sprinkle with brown sugar and some kosher salt. Take the butter and break off little pieces and sprinkle on top of the onions. Roast in the 450 degree oven for about 25 minutes or until the onions become a little charred. You can roast the onions and the tomatoes at the same time. Transfer the onions to a glass bowl or tupperware, cover, and refrigerate. Now for the sausage. Remove the sausage from the casings, crumble them up into little pieces, and saute in a skillet over high heat until the sausage is browned. When done, transfer to a glass bowl or tupperware, cover, and refrigerate. Ok, so now your prep work is done. Go have a glass of wine and dream about the pizza you are going to have tomorrow.

Now, for the fun part. Preheat your oven to 450 degrees again. Get your dough and roll it out onto a wooden pizza paddle. I find that using a floured rolling pin helps. Also, I hand-stretch the dough to get it into the shape I want. Know that the shape will not be perfect, it will be more of a circular rectangle. It's fine, nobody cares. Brush olive oil onto both sides of the dough and then put some flour on the pizza paddle. Your oiled dough should now be on the floured pizza paddle. Now, heat your grill to high. Using the pizza paddle, transfer the dough onto the hot grill, right onto the grates. Listen, this takes a bit of practice and having 2 people helps. I made five pizzas yesterday and three looked, shall we say, a little special. Two looked gorgeous. All tasted amazing so who cares? Ok, back to the grilling. Shut the grill and let the dough cook for about 1 minute. Don't walk away, the shit will burn!! Take a peek under the dough and if there are grate marks and it's starting to blacken, then flip. Leave the lid open for cooking the other side. Cook for about 2 minutes. Take your dough off the grill, transfer it to a baking sheet, and top it with the grated fontina cheese, sliced mozzarella cheese, sausage, onions, and tomatoes. Finish it in the oven by cooking for 10 minutes or until all the cheese has melted. This was my method. Some people, after flipping the pizza dough the first time, will put their toppings on and let them melt while still on the grill. I found that I had more control over the final product if I concentrated on grilling the dough first and then dealing with building in the toppings later using the oven. Anyway, 7 adults polished off 5 huge pizzas last night. Happy freakin' Father's Day!

Daily Recipe: Wicked Healthy Veggie Chili

OK, so it's been raining here for about a month and I've been making all sorts of soups to help mentally deal with the weather. The thing about nasty weather is that I tend to nest which is code for eat. So, to counterbalance the 3 Reeces Peanut Butter Cups I had after lunch yesterday, I decided to make something healthy for dinner. This chili is super easy to prepare and you can add any veggies that make you happy. I use Muir Glen fire roasted tomatoes because the guy with the weird name who wrote Eat This, Not That told me that they were the healthiest on the market and since I believe everything I read, I bought them. They are tasty.

Wicked Healthy Veggie Chili - Serves 6

Ingredients:

• 1 28 oz. can Muir Glen fire roasted crushed tomatoes


• 2 14 oz. cans Muir Glen fire roasted diced tomatoes


• 1 14 oz can of garbanzo beans


• 1 can of corn


• 1 zucchini, diced


• 1 big white onion, diced


• 1 red pepper, diced (large pieces)


• 1 yellow pepper, diced (large pieces)


• 1/2 jalapeno pepper, seeds removed and finely minced (more if you like it spicy)


• 3 tablespoons chili powder (or more to taste)


• 3 tablespoons cumin (or more to taste)


• 1 tablespoon kosher salt (or more to taste)


• 1 tablespoon garlic powder


• black pepper


• Garnishes: shredded jack cheese, cilantro, diced green onions, sour cream

Preparation:

In a large pot, heat a little olive oil over high heat. Add the onions and saute until they are translucent. Add in the peppers and saute until they begin to soften, about 3 minutes. Add in the garbanzo beans, corn, and all of the tomatoes and give it a nice stir. Finally, start to season. Add in all the cumin, chili powder, salt, pepper, garlic powder. Taste the seasonings. You might want it spicier. If so, add in more of what you like. Some folks add in hot sauce or more jalapenos. Go nuts. Once you have the seasoning where you like it, plop the lid on the pot, turn it down to simmer, and let it cook for 3o minutes. Finally, put some in a bowl and garnish it. I like to dump on liberal amounts of sour cream, cheese, cilantro, and green onions. Frankly, the garnish makes this dish sort of unhealthy but whatever, it tastes good. If you are a total neurotic, do low-fat sour cream and cheese. But remember, if you get hit by a bus tomorrow and you didn't eat the full-fat dairy, you might be sorry. I'm just sayin....

Oprah's Favorite BBQ Chicken

OK, Oprah has never tasted this chicken. Nor does she know anything about it. I saw the back of Gayle's head once though. Does that count? Anyway, barbequing chicken is not as easy as it looks. It's taken a few tries to get this recipe down and now that it's well, down, I'm passing it along. If you've got a bit of time to spare and a killer BBQ sauce, you too can make juicy, crispy chicken.

Oprah's Favorite BBQ Chicken

Ingredients:

• Chicken parts on the bone. As many as you want. Any part you desire. Go crazy.


• Apple Juice


• Your favorite BBQ spice rub - I use Dinosaur BBQ rub


• Your favorite BBQ sauce - I use either Hickory House, Sweet Baby Ray's, or KC Masterpiece

Preparation:

Dip the chicken into the apple juice and place into a pyrex dish. Sprinkle your rub onto the chicken, covering both sides. Now, it's awesome if you can let the chicken sit in the fridge overnight and let the rub really permeate the meat. If not, no biggie. Just let the rub sit on the chicken for as long as you can. Even 1 hour is good. Set your grill on low, to about 200-225 degrees. We put ours on low and keep the lid open. Place the chicken skin side down on the grill, leave the lid open, and go do your nails or take a nap. The chicken should be left alone, untouched for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Flip the chicken being careful not to leave the skin on the grill. I use a spatula for this. Let the chicken cook another 15 minutes on the other side. Now for the fun bit. Slather your BBQ sauce all over the chicken, both sides. Then crank up the grill to medium and shut the lid. Cook on both sides for about 10 minutes each, until the skin gets all blackened and saucy. Flip once so that the sauce can carmelize on both sides. Feel free to baste with more sauce to build on the flavor. I am a firm believer in 0ver-saucing when it comes to BBQ chicken. Pare this chicken with some cole slaw, corn bread*, and a bottle of beer and you are stoked.

*BTW I tried the Williams-Sonoma jalapeno cheddar cornbread mix and it's awesome. While a total rip at $12, it was really moist, spicy, and cheesy and fed a crowd. I can't find it online but they have it in the stores. How 1996.

Daily Recipe: Fancy Nancy's Walnut Brownies

Ladies - Is Aunt Red coming to visit soon? Feeling a little cranky-pants? If so, this recipe is for you! Fancy Nancy, aka my fabulous mother, has perfected a rich, fudgy, nutty, chewy, fast to make brownie recipe that has been hand tested and proven to cure all symptoms of PMS! Forget the Midol. Here's what you do: get rid of the boyfriend/husband/man-servant/valet/bitchboy, turn on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, tuck into one or five of these babies, and you're cured! I swear it works. Thanks are not necessary. Just send $5 bucks to my house.

Fancy Nancy's Walnut Brownies

 

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups sugar


• 2 cups flour


• 2 squares unsweetened baking chocolate


• 6 eggs


• 12 oz. bag of semi sweet chocolate bits


• 1/2 lb salted butter ( 2 sticks) softened


• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts - or more if you love nuts


• 1 tsp vanilla

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place the baking chocolate and chocolate chips in a microwave safe bowl. Nuke em' for about 2-3 minutes until everything is melted together but be careful not to burn the chocolate. Stir it around until you have a silky consistency. Meanwhile in a large bowl, cream the butter, sugar, and vanilla together. Beat the eggs and add them to the butter and sugar mixture. Now, start adding your chocolate and flour to the butter and sugar mixture, alternating and adding a little at a time. Finally when everything is mixed in, add your walnuts. Pour the chocolate love mix into a greased and floured 9x13 brownie pan or pyrex. Bake for 30 minutes.

 

Daily Recipe: Cape Cod Chicken Salad

 

Jews love salads - egg salad, chicken salad, tuna salad, whitefish salad, salmon salad, Israeli salad. I could go on and on about salads like Bubba Gump yammers on about shrimp. Anyway, since I come from a long, not-so-distinguished line of Cape Cod Jews, I thought I'd post a recipe for Cape Cod Chicken Salad. By using shortcuts like a store bought rotisserie chicken, this salad is fast to prepare and loved by Jews and Gentiles the world over. Shalom!

Cape Cod Chicken Salad - serves 4

Ingredients:

• 1 store bought (or home made) rotisserie chicken


• 1/2 cup scallions, diced


• 1/4 cup celery, diced


• 1/3 cup dried cranberries


• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts


• 1 tablespoon mayonnaise


• 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar


• 1 teaspoon of honey


• 1 teaspoon of salt

Preparation:

Take your little chicky and remove the skin. Take off all of the good looking white meat and cut it into chunks. Proceed to eat the drumstick as a little mid-cooking snack. Now, back to the salad....dice up your scallions and celery and toss it into the bowl with the chicken. Add the cranberries and walnuts. In a separate little bowl, mix together the mayo, vinegar, honey, and salt. Add the dressing to the chicken mixture and stir until everything is incorporated. Now if this salad doesn't bring world peace, I don't know what will frankly.

Daily Recipe: "Raw" Fettuccini with Pesto

Ok folks. I was officially a gluttonous fat-ass this weekend. I drank enough margaritas and ate enough red meat to sink myself into a tubby oblivion. Mondays always offer us a fresh start and as such, I am doing a veggie cleanse today. No, I am not doing a beet colonic. I'm simply eating veggies today. This recipe is an adaptation from a "raw" cooking class I took. "Raw" cooking only uses vegan ingredients (nothing that moos or can look at you). The food is never heated beyond 118 degrees so that none of the vital nutrients are lost. Blah, blah. As I sat in class mentally rolling my eyes, I was turned on to a few things. One of which was zucchini "pasta" which is actually just cute little strips of zucchini acting as pasta. It's refreshing, crisp, and satisfying. Now, let's not kid ourselves...it's not real pasta. But if you are craving a fresh sauce and something healthy to put it on, this will do the trick. A few notes: 1) This is not true vegan food because I am using real Parmesan in my sauce. 2) I skipped the garlic this time because I am allergic to my husband after he eats it. Ok, so let your freak flag fly and cook some raw food today!

"Raw" Fettuccine with Basil Pesto Sauce - serves 6

Ingredients:

• 4 whole raw zucchini, peeled


• 3 cloves garlic


• 4 cups fresh basil leaves, packed


• 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese


• 1/2 cup good olive oil


• 1/2 cup pine nuts

Preparation:

In a food processor, combine the basil, garlic, and pine nuts - pulse a few times. Slowly add the olive oil in a steady stream while the food processor is on. Scrape down the sides of the bowl. Then add in the Parmesan cheese and pulse again until blended. Add salt and pepper to taste. Now, for the zucchini. Cut off the ends of the zucchini and peel them. With the vegetable peeler, peel the zucchini lengthwise so you have long, thin, fat strips that should resemble fettuccine. Peel lenghwise until you see seeds and then turn it over and peel the other sides. Stop peeling when you see seeds. When you have a nice bowl of zucchini strips, dress it with the pesto and voila - fettuccine with pesto! Super healthy and delish.

Daily Recipe: Vanilla Ice Cream with Strawberries and Balsamic Reduction

Ah, the perfect ripe strawberry. Summer's gift to us humans. Red, juicy, succulent, and they look sensuous as you are eating them. Unless of course you are a total yutz and drop one on your white tank top while trying to look cool, which I did last night. Regardless, here is an easy, elegant dessert that can be made ahead and assembled later.

Vanilla Ice Cream with Strawberries and Balsamic Reduction - serves 4

 

Ingredients:

• 1 pint of strawberries, washed, stems removed, and quartered


• 1 pint of high quality vanilla ice cream


• 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

Preparation:

In a small saucepan, bring balsamic to a boil over medium heat. Turn the heat down to low and reduce even further, until you have about 1/4 cup of liquid in the pan. Turn the heat off and the balsamic will get thicker. Let it cool or store in an airtight container in the fridge until you are ready to use. Meanwhile, scoop the vanilla ice cream into frosted wine glasses or desert glasses, top with the strawberries, and finally, drizzle with the balsamic reduction. Don't know how to frost a glass? Dude, get your head out of your tuchus. Ok, fine....take a wine glass and wet it. Put it into the freezer. 20 minutes later, presto, you have a frosted glass.

Daily Recipe: Balsamic Roasted Cherry Tomatoes

Nothing says summer like a bad sunburn and sand in your crotch. I mean, nothing says summer like a perfectly ripe and juicy tomato. Yah, that's the ticket! I made these little babies to accompany a perfectly grilled New York strip steak. The tomatoes were so juicy and had a little tang on the tongue from the balsamic. They took all of 30 seconds to prepare.

Balsamic Roasted Cherry Tomatoes

 

Ingredients:

• Vine cherry tomatoes - as many as you want


• Olive Oil


• Balsamic Vinegar


• Fresh Basil - julienned


• Salt & Pepper

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Place pre-washed tomatoes on a sheet pan and drizzle with lots of good olive oil. Then, drizzle with some balsamic vinegar. Finish with a generous sprinkle of kosher salt and pepper. Roast the tomatoes for 17-20 minutes until they start to blacken just a little bit. You might need to broil them for the last minute if you like them charred, which I do. Transfer to a bowl and sprinkle with a little more kosher salt and the julienned basil. Welcome to Tomato Heaven.

 

Daily Recipe: Gloomy Weather = Hot Soup For Dinner

The raw, rainy weather of late has inspired me to dig out some winter recipes. Here's a lunch or dinner idea that is sure to warm you up and not make you totally bloated. Unless of course you pair it with a beautiful Cabernet like I did. Then, you might be a little bloated. But it hurts so good, people. Enjoy!

Menu:

Sausage, Kale, and Lentil Soup

Whole Wheat Crostini with Truffle Butter

Sausage, Kale, and Lentil Soup - yields 6 generous servings

Ingredients:

1 cup dried lentils

3 cups low sodium organic chicken stock

1 large white onion, diced

6 fresh sausages, casings removed

1 bunch of green kale, stems removed and cut into small pieces

1 tablespoon olive oil

freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Preparation:

In a large soup pot, brown crumbled sausage on high heat until all sausage is cooked. Remove sausage from pot with a slotted spoon and set aside on paper towels to drain. Add olive oil to the hot pot and saute the onions. When they are done, add back in the sausage and add in the lentils and chicken stock. Simmer for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, add the kale and simmer for another 10 minutes or until the kale is tender. Adjust seasonings - I like to add a bit of kosher salt and some red pepper flakes. Serve in bowls with generous helpings of grated Parmesan cheese and a whole wheat truffled crostini for dunking.

Whole Wheat Crostini with Truffle Butter

Ingredients:

1 Whole Wheat baguette or ciabatta bread

Truffle butter (you can find this in most Whole Foods or markets in the gourmet section. If you can't find it, substitute with fresh, salted butter and white truffle oil)

Kosher Salt

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350. Split baguette or ciabatta down the middle, lengthwise. Schmere with truffle butter or regular butter + truffle oil. Add a dash of kosher salt. Wrap in tin foil and throw it into the oven for 10 minutes. After minute 8, open the foil and let the bread get crispy. Slice and enjoy a bit of heaven.

Daily Recipe: Jacked Up Egg Salad

Admit it, folks. You love egg salad even though it smells like farts. The creamy texture and tangy taste is too much to resist sometimes. Here is Wicked Good Food's version of a Jacked Up Egg Salad. Start with farm fresh, organic eggs. Slather it on a toasted whole grain bread or pile it high on some greens and voila...lunch!

Jacked Up Egg Salad - serves 4

Ingredients:

• 8 farm fresh, organic eggs, hard boiled


• 1/2 cup red onion, finely diced


• 1/2 cup celery finely diced


• 1 scallion, diced


• 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard


• 1 1/2 tablespoons real mayonnaise


• 1 teaspoon white wine vinegar


• salt & pepper to taste

Preparation:

In a medium sized bowl, mush up your hard boiled eggs. I use a potato masher or a fork. Whatever you have on hand that will get the eggs down to a nice small dice. To the eggs, mix mayonnaise, mustard, vinegar. Finally, mix in the onion, celery, scallion. Add salt and pepper to taste. If you like your eggy salad super creamy, add a bit more mayonnaise. Slather on whole grain bread, crackers, or top on a salad. Lunch is served!

Daily Recipe: Kickin' It Old School with Chocolate Chipwiches

I have to give a shout out to my friend, Elaine for bringing back an old school favorite. We were at a very chic pot luck dinner party and for dessert, Elaine and her hubby busted out an old school fave - Chocolate Chipwiches! Everyone devoured them and we were all over the age of 35. They are super easy to make and everyone will worship you for them. They can also be made ahead and stay good in the freezer for at least a week.

Chocolate Chipwiches

Ingredients:

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

• 1 teaspoon baking soda

• 1 teaspoon salt

• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

• 3/4 cup granulated sugar

• 3/4 cup brown sugar

• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

• 2 eggs

• 1 12 oz. package of semi sweet chocolate bits

• 1 quart of fabulous vanilla ice cream, softened a little

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, cream together butter, brown sugar, white sugar, eggs, vanilla. In another mixing bowl, mix flour, baking soda, and salt. Slowly add the dry mixture into the wet mixture until your batter is formed. Finally, add the chocolate chips and mix. Proceed to stick a small amount of the cookie dough into your pie hole. Then, when you've gotten that out of your system, drop the dough by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets. You want the cookies to be medium sized, so the balls should be about 1 1/2 inches in diameter uncooked. Leave some room between the cookies for expansion while baking. Bake at 375 for 9-11 minutes until the cookies are slightly golden brown. Transfer the cookies to a cooling rack and when they are cooled, put them in a freezer ziploc and plop them in the freezer. Freeze cookies for 2 hours. Finally, take your frozen cookies and slather them with softened vanilla ice cream. Put the sandwiches back in the freezer until you are ready to devour them. Good luck holding out!